What to do when a Co-worker Makes Gross Sounds

As it turns out, I have yet to determine an appropriate response to the subject. So, I googled it. (By the way, Google has yet to disappoint. You can pretty much google anything and get plenty of subject matter, no matter how random.)

Anyway, yes, I googled "what to do when a coworker makes gross sounds. Obvious reason being that I work within 15 yards of three different MEN who cannot or will not control their noise. I call it audio infringement.

Coworker number 1. We'll call him The Loogie Man. I guess he either has seriously bad allergies or he has some sort of sinus infection. I'm sure his health is all around poor as he's probably at least six feet in circumference. He's old enough to retire within the next two or three years so I don't see either issue improving anytime soon. Anyway, he is always sneezing, blowing his nose at about 20 decibels too loud, and snorting all the descending snot back up into his sinus cavity. Constantly. He sits in the CUBICLE across the aisle from me. He also talks loud. I think they teach you to do everything loud in the Army. Why they expect us to get any work done in cubicles is beyond me, but that's a subject for a whole 'nother post.

Coworker number 2. We'll call him Munchies. He just can't not eat ice. And he smacks everything else he eats. He'll eat his lunch - which always includes chips. All I hear his a "hagch, hagch, hagch" sound for about 45 minutes. Why it takes him that long to eat his lunch is a wonder. He looks like he enjoys food immensely. And then I hear "tsss-nap" as he opens up his carbonated beverage, which he pours over a styrofoam cup of ice. So he eats his chips, drinks his coke, then eats the ice. And that's just at lunch. The process repeats itself for when it's snack-time. Yhere's a reason I nick-named him "Munchies." He's a nice guy though. He's been out all week. I wonder if his wife is having their baby. But seriously, eat quieter.

Coworker number 3. We'll call him Corn Husker. Another old man who is on the verge of retirement. (Munchies is young.) I wonder if Corn Husker is ODC or has some type tick. Although I think I hear him caughing at times, he seems to have no major issue with sinuses or allergies so I don't understand the necessity of this sound he makes. His deal is - about every 45-90 seconds, he has to do this thing which is somewhere between clearing his throat and hocking something up. The best way to describe it is, ya know when you've been eating popcorn, and a husk gets suctioned onto the back of your tongue where your throat starts so you do this little hybrid cough-hock sound? Well, that's it - and there it went again!!! As I type this blog. However, unlike the Loogie Man and Munchies, he is across another row of cubes, and aisle and is in an "office." Office is in quotes because the walls are made of extra-tall cubicle wall pieces. It has a door, but no ceiling. So there is no glamour that comes with that "office." Anyway, I hear it all the way over where I sit. I wonder if it would help if he closed his "door." Doubtful, since there is no ceiling. Seriously...it's like we work in play-pens for adults.

The good news is, that after reading the various assortment of posts, blogs, and Q&A sessions which compiled the list of results from my google inquiry, there are people who work with coworkers a lot more weird and obnoxious than mine.

I don't understand peoples' lack of situational awareness. They operate in their own little world and don't bother to think about how they impact those around them. I'm quiet as a mouse. Except for typing.